Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I got inside last night via doggy door
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
