no, he came in my armpit
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
