as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
