I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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