i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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