When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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