i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize