i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
should my penis look like a turkey
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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