Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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