If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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