I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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