Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
