I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My bed smells like the plague
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
