Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
