So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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