last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
