U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he thought i was a dude.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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