What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
