After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
