What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize