He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
