i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
