we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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