Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
