It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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