he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
