How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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