we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
