S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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