Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
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i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
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My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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