And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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