Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize