what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
