what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
