is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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