he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
