WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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