Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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