Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
