You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
