wrigley field is MILF paradise
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
