You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
