If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
