I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
