I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
