I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
