She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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