just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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