My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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