She's JV to your varsity
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I want her autograph on my taint
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
