we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
