Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize