Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
