Please don't use social media to get back at me.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize