and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
