hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
