Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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