no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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