What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
